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The Most Expensive Plaque on Campus

As you walk into to Spencer or the newly renovated Snowden, you may notice a large and official looking glass plaque that clearly announces for all to hear that this building is environmentally friendly and LEED certified-the hippie architect and institution's greatest recognition. After last year's deplorable "D" grade in sustainability, Sewanee has and continues to work hard in improving its environmental impact and sustainability. We have an expanded recycling program, begun composting on a larger scale, and tried to conserve more energy through motion activated light switches and water efficient toilets. The largest shift and the one with the most significant impact, however, has been in construction. With the completion of Spencer Hall and Snowden, Sewanee now has two certified LEED certified buildings. Getting LEED certified is a complicated and elaborate process. 

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Don’t Touch My Junk, Bro!

"Sir, please step aside," the Travel Security Administration agent instructed me at the Nashville airport last week as I was about to fly home to San Antonio. Falling victim to "random selection," I was taken to a separate line to go through the controversial full-body scanner, the giant x-ray machine that performs what has been dubbed a "virtual strip search." Apparently I failed the search, so I had to undergo the even more controversial pat down procedure. As the stocky TSA agent slid his hands up and down my thighs and around my ass, he gave me this apologetic look that said, "I'm sorry, man. I want to be doing this as much as you want to be standing here right now." Turning up nothing - surprise, I'm not a terrorist - I put my sweatshirt back on and walked to my gate, unsure if I should have felt molested, violated, or just kind of amused. Amidst a media firestorm, civil liberties and privacy advocates have declared these new screening measures unwarranted and unconstitutional; pundits and politicians on both sides of the aisle have stopped just short of calling for the head of Janet Napolitano, the Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security. In post 9/11 America, there have been gradual encroachments on individual liberties in the name of securing our nation from the threat of terrorism, but what is more troubling is that most people do not seem to care until it directly affects them. 

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Humble Hilarious Honesty

I went shopping in Macy's with a really good friend of mine, lets call her "Jane," having no idea what I would get myself into that day. Jane and I are looking around, trying on some clothes and having a blast when I see something out of the corner of my eye. I see this attractive brunette with an insane amount of cleavage that would make Katy Perry look like a nun, the brightest pink tank top and the shortest black shorts. Naturally, I become the Kool-Aid man when I see her and think: "Ohhhh yea!" I look back to see Jane staring back at me: "Ohhh nooo!" With her arms folded across her chest, Jane, irritated, says: "You want my body to look like hers, Don't you!?!" It's a trap! Seconds seem like minutes as I stand speechless; I can go on the defensive and cause an argument because the way the question was phrased automatically implied I was guilty; I think about telling her the truth: "No, I don't want your body to look like hers", but Jane will assume that's a lie; "Yes, I do", a lie in itself, but that means I compare her body to someone else's standards which completely undermines her feelings. 

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